Bella
Favorite Jewish food: My favorite Jewish… probably challah or kugel. And flourless chocolate cake during Passover, my grandma makes the best. Or brisket. That’s too many Jewish foods.
Favorite Jewish holiday: I think Passover just because of the meaning behind ti and freeing our people from slavery How would you describe your identity? I say I’m mixed race, that’s something I’ve struggled with to this day because of the implicit tribalism in both of my identities. It’s hard to fit in with both at the same time. I say I’m a white POC, that’s the most basic way to describe it. I’m Cuban, I speak Spanish, I grew up mostly in that space. I did also grow up celebrating Jewish holidays. I never really viewed it as my religion, more as a cultural and ethnic thing. Do you feel like your looks and experiences are included in the general picture of what a Jewish person is? Yes and no. My grandparents have a much more idyllic picture of what a Jewish person looks like. My grandpa was a doctor, stuff like that. He lived in the North Shore. My mom was a lawyer. I didn’t grow up wealthy at all, and that’s a very common stereotype. Like, if you’re Jewish, you have to have all of this money, but also you’re cheap. All those common stereotypes. I never was really into the religious aspects, and my family wasn’t. I never fit into that stereotype. |
How does this affect your feelings about Judaism?
When I was growing up, it was really hard for me to fit in because of these things. I didn’t go to a synagogue or temple, I didn’t go to Hebrew school. I lived in Highland Park and everyone from there is doing those things. I didn’t get invited to a ton of bar and bat mitzvahs, little things like that where I ended up being left out of that community because I was never quite “Jewish enough”. I kind of got grouped in with the “other”. I made a lot more friends in the Hispanic space. THat really shaped my viewpoint on how I connected with Judaism because I felt like I wasn’t really being welcomed into the space and I didn’t belong there. Do you feel like you’ve generally been welcomed in Judaism? Why or why not? I definitely have felt excluded. I’ve been told, “you’re not really Jewish”, “If you’re not religious, you’re not really a Jew”. As I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten a lot more welcoming, maybe that’s just because the nature of kids is to be mean and cliquey. But I definitely have felt so much more welcome in the space as I got older. Have you felt excluded from other spaces because you’re Jewish? In being human, I think that a lot of people don’t feel I am valid in my identity because I’m not fully Cuban. Until I came to JCUA and got involved in Kol Or, a hard thing was accepting my identity as a white POC, and even calling myself a POC, even though my grandpa is directly from Cuba, and my grandpa and my dad are a very dark complexion. I pushed that away because I’m not, thinking it couldn’t be my identity. Through talking to Jackie, I have come into that identity more and have felt more included in that space, but I’ve felt excluded throughout my life. It’s difficult to feel on the edge of both identities that you hold, you’re not fully a part of either, but they both are so meaningful to you. As I’ve gotten older, it’s become easier to associate myself with both of these communities. |
"It’s difficult to feel on the edge of both identities that you hold, you’re not fully a part of either, but they both are so meaningful to you" |
"As long as I know in my heart that I am Jewish, and I know the stories of our ancestors and I connect with that and I talk with my grandparents and I learn all of our history, that’s what truly connects me." |
Can you talk a bit more about the work you do at JCUA and how it is impacted by your identity?
I had the College Organizing Fellowship, and currently I am a summer field organizing intern with the Fair Tax committee. I’m an environmental policy major, and obviously we’re not working on any specific environmental campaigns, but I’m very into racial justice, environmental justice, and systemic justice in general. That’s what drew me into JCUA. At first I wasn’t sure if I would fit it at all. The old director of Loyola Hillel is who actually suggested it to me. I wasn’t really involved in Loyola Hillel, I had maybe had some coffee meetings with her, nothing serious. Didn’t really ever go to their events because I wasn’t sure if I would fit in. I met with Mara [who runs the College Organizing Fellowship] and I really enjoyed our talk. I thought, “maybe I won’t connect with this on the Jewish aspect, but I really connect with it on the social justice aspect, so I’ll try it out”. Throughout being there, I realized that I don’t need to be this strict religious Jew. My life doesn’t need to look like going to synagogue every weekend. My life doesn’t need to look like knowing Hebrew and reading the Torah. As long as I know in my heart that I am Jewish, and I know the stories of our ancestors and I connect with that and I talk with my grandparents and I learn all of our history, that’s what truly connects me. Finding this community space at JCUA made me connect more with that. I felt accepted into the community in a way that wasn’t revolving around religion or language, it was more up my alley that we could connect on social justice with a Jewish lens. Through being in JCUA, I learned so much about Judaism, even things about the Torah, that I had no idea about. It opened my eyes a lot and made me feel so much more a part of the Jewish community in general. Do you feel like you’ve been able to find communities where your whole identity is accepted? Yes and no. I love JCUA, but I still feel like there’s a part lacking. I love Kol Or. I think that could be the biggest space where I feel like my identity is fully captured. I’m talking with the new director of Hillel at Loyola— she’s also mixed— and we were talking about setting up an intersecting identities group. You might not even be Jewish, even if you’re Catholic and gay or something like that, it would be really interesting to explore that. It isn’t often talked about and it’s really crucial because people do often feel left out on one side or the other of their identity. What do you think we could do as a larger Jewish community to make our spaces more welcoming for people who identify differently from the norm? Talking circles to process. Meetings where you can have focused questions and go from there as a community building exercise. I think that would be one cool thing. I’m not sure. I really wish that it would get more recognition. I would have to think more about that and how we could even open that up. It’s important to connect folks with similar experiences and just work from there. |
Does Judaism/identifying as Jewish play an important role in your life? Why or why not?
Yes and no. Yes because it’s part of who I am. It’s part of my ancestral history, I wouldn’t be who I am without that piece of my identity. There is a shared trauma bound into our DNA that people who have had their ancestors go through the Holocaust share. It’s important to acknowledge that and its impact on our fight and flight responses, that’s something that is really interesting for me to learn about. I’m not religious, but I am a bit more spiritual. Through learning more about Judaism and the history of it, about how Jesus is not believed to be the Messiah, I’ve always felt like that. Learning more about Judaism has really opened me up to that and my connection with Gd, which is important for me. Everyone has their own different views, and I think that’s another really nice thing about Judaism. There are so many different areas to explore. They are more accepting to having your own personal connection with Gd that people can’t question. But I also would say no because it’s not the first thing people would see or think about me often. Not being Orthodox, when people look at me, they don’t think, “Oh, she’s Jewish”. That definitely has shielded me from some antisemitism. I definitely think I wouldn’t be who I am without being Jewish. Is there anything that stands out to you about the experience of being Jewish and going to a Catholic/Jesuit university? Content Warning: racist, antisemitic slurs I actually didn’t start at Loyola. I started at a school in North Carolina that was presbyterian. I was bullied really badly there, not only for being Jewish but also for being Cuban. Someone called me a Hot pocket, which was a slur that I had never heard before. It basically meant that you were easy to burn in the oven, which my mom told me. I was called a spik, a Yankee, all these different things. That’s the reason why I ended up leaving. It definitely affected me more there. Coming to Chicago, it definitely is a different experience. It’s much more liberal here. There are certain things about Loyola that are weird, just the wording around our mission statement, sometimes they mention Gd a little too much. They’ve also done a really good job creating a space that is for all different religions. They have a whole wing in the student center that is all these different rooms for different religions. They’ve provided a pretty inclusive space. The reason I left my last school is because they told me, “You’re in the South, you’re gonna have to deal with this stuff”. I was like, “No, I don’t have to deal with hate speech,” so I left. It varies depending on the school. I do enjoy the community at Loyola. What is your favorite part about being Jewish? It’s definitely the community aspect. I love all the people I’ve met throughout it. I love how welcoming it is, and how it feels truly like home to be with these people no matter where you are. It feels comfortable talking with them once you know they’re Jewish, you have that shared understanding and shared ancestral experience. |
"I love all the people I’ve met throughout it. I love how welcoming it is, and how it feels truly like home to be with these people no matter where you are." |